


Tired

by ThinkyThink



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Exhaustion, F/F, Futurefic, Hurt, I wanted to give this a happy ending and it didn't come so now it's just this, One Shot, Sad, god I love these two and how complex their relationship is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 12:32:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17244260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThinkyThink/pseuds/ThinkyThink
Summary: In the end it can all get so exhausting, so draining. Sometimes, you just want to sit down and wish everything was simple again.





	Tired

I stared down at her, my breath coming in hard, deep pants. She was a mess; her clothes torn, her fur matted, blood oozing from a dozen cuts. Her stance was wide for balance, and I could see her hands shaking. It looked like she’d been mauled by a cat.

I wasn’t much better, I think. My legs were wobbly and blood kept dripping into my left eye. It was a struggle just to keep my hands on the Sword of Protection.

Outside, the sounds of battle had faded; no tank blasts, no bow strings, no clatter of steel on steel. No idea who won, but who ever did would come looking for us. I should be trying to finish this, to push it the end, in case it wasn’t my side that won.

A strangled laugh forced its way past my cracked lips, causing pain to stab through my right flank and making me gasp and stumble. ‘My side.’ Really, there had been too much side shifting for ‘my side’ to be meaningful. Entrapta, Kyle, Rogelio, myself, all those others…. Now that I thought about, faction loyalty didn’t seem all that important. 

I leaned against the cliffside and slid down, the dull throb of my bruised back only now noticeable as the adrenalin drained from me. I laid there for a moment, and then my sword clattered to the ground, the hilt loosely held in limp fingers.

“That….that all you g-got?” Catra gasped out, before her right leg gave and she stumbled forwards, collapsing into a heap right next to me. She laid there in tangle pile, ears torn, mane matted, limbs trembling.

She struggled into a sitting position and rested her back against the cliff next to me. The effort left her gulping for lungfuls of air, each one a laborious task. It’d been so long since I’d seen her like this. It reminded me of those times long ago, when one of the senior cadets had cut loose or Shadow Weaver had been particularly vindictive. How had it taken me so long to realize how wrong that was?

A lot longer than it should have really. Even after I left, it had taken a while to really click.

“I’m tired,” Catra said, looking out to the west where the sun was touching the horizon. Up above, I could see one of the moons fading into view in the darkening sky.

“Of?” I said.

“Of everything. Tired of fighting, tired of planning, tired of feeling like shit, tired of keeping my troops under control. Tired of loving you, tired hating you.”

The confession should have been a surprise, but it really wasn’t. Our relationship had always been complex, even before I’d found the Sword of Protection and became She-Ra.

‘Love’ and ‘hate.' That was a good way to describe it, really. I loved her wild temperament, her ability to make me laugh and smile. I loved her sharp brain and clever tactics and how she was there by my side. I’d hated how hard she made protecting her. Hated how I couldn’t shield her from the pain of the world. Then I hated her for how callously she’d hurt other people, from civilians to me to my friends….When did she stop being my friend?

Bow said that love and hate aren’t that different when you get down to it. He’s wrong. They’re pretty different, and conflicting in oh so many ways. If I only hated or loved Catra, this whole thing would be so much simpler.

“How’re Kyle and Rogelio?” Catra asked, voice flecked with concern. I was surprised; she’d always been at arms length from the rest of our squad. Well, things had to have changed over the past two years. Had it really only been two? Half of that felt twice as long.

“They’re alright,” I said. “Had trouble settling in at first, but Bow helped. They stopped dancing around each other and got together a few months ago.”

“'Bout time,” Catra muttered, a smile quirking her lips. “Lonnie would be happy for them.”

“Yeah.” Evening light played across her head, turning brown fur red and grey hair ochre. Her guard was down, face slack and eyes lidded, the slit pupils expanded wide in the way they only did when she was relaxed. Even with the battered face, the purpling bruises, the cold sweat, and the drying blood, she was beautiful. 

I reached out - to do what I didn’t know - and paused as I saw not a golden vambrace but a white, dirt-covered sleeve, fresh blood seeping in to stain the fabric. When did I drop my transformation? When did I stop being She-Ra and went back to Adora? When had being She-Ra become the default? Sometime in the last year, I wanted to say. When the war had ramped up and the weather became a weapon to use.

I drew my hand back and let it fall into my lap. Instead I settled for a simple “I miss you,” and turned to look at the sunset. Two more of the moons were out, now.

Catra chuckled. “I miss you too.”

I heard the pain in her voice. The regret, the sorrow.

“When did it get so complicated?”

“Dunno,” Catra said. “Think it was around when I tossed the Sword down a hole.”

“Maybe,” I said. “Or maybe it was when I left you behind.” It could be any one of the dozen things we’ve done to each other. Good and bad.

Eternia we were a mess.

The last bit of sunlight dipped below the horizon, and we were left staring at the empty black sky. I wondered, not for the first time, what stars looked like. They were so beautiful in the old records from before, the memories of past She-Ras. Numerous, bright, shimmering, a blanket of brilliant lights without qualification or complication. Life used to be like for Etheria. For me. For Catra. For us.

Why couldn’t things be like that now?

**Author's Note:**

> This entire piece was inspired by this image on tumblr. Nothing much more to say, really.
> 
> http://artofkace.tumblr.com/post/181473524785/tired-of-hating-you-tired-of-loving-you
> 
> Which I found here on the She-Ra subreddit.
> 
> https://www.reddit.com/r/PrincessesOfPower/comments/ab2wlk/tired_of_loving_you_tired_of_hating_you/


End file.
